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B2B Sales Best Practices

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In our last post we examined a few B2B marketing best practices, basic strategies and activities that have earned a reputation for dependably producing successful outcomes; marketing strategies and activities augmented by AI-powered technology have proven to be especially effective. Marketing best practices are routinely followed by those who are considered leading marketers—a savvy and practical lot who avoid the miscalculations of strategies that are, unfortunately, associated with marketing laggards. Marketing leaders know that strategies and activities grounded in best practices are capable of not only producing your organization’s personal best year-end revenue and profit, but also generate business momentum that can propel you into a very happy 2026.

Now that we’ve taken a dive into marketing and learned what’s likely to inspire prospects to ask that you schedule a sales conversation, we can next examine what can be said to represent B2B sales best practices, in particular as they apply to Freelance professionals and small business owners. As always, the goal is to produce healthy revenue and profit results and avoid being seduced by strategies that make sense for, perhaps, an enterprise national or multinational corporation but are probably unattainable for smaller entities. In our continually evolving B2B marketplace, it’s necessary to recognize when to follow traditional B2B basic business practices and when (and which) of the dizzying array of new technologies are capable of facilitating your revenue and other business goals.

Navigating the complexity of B2B purchase decision-making 

B2B sales cycles are typically much longer than their B2C counterparts. The purchasing approval process often requires input from influential stakeholders and it is standard for multiple decision-makers to be involved. Complicated negotiations may be needed to reach agreement on pricing, payment terms and logistics before a sale can be approved. As a result, it is common to meet not just with the project team leader, but with a decision committee when you are invited into a sales conversation.

So—let’s figure out how to survive the lion’s den and earn a chance to rack up as much sales revenue as possible before the 2025 finish line. As usual, the best sales techniques follow a “work smart and keep it simple” philosophy. An effective sales process focuses on more than a financial transaction—the necessity of relationship building, the customer experience and also repeat business and referrals that grow the client list remind you that your sales strategies and skills are building blocks of long-term business growth and are integral to future-proofing your organization. The five steps detailed below are sure to help you improve your sales performance:

  1. Whenever possible, schedule face2face sales meetings to facilitate relationship building opportunities. Teleconferences are useful and very convenient but when possible, especially for the first meeting, find a time and place that will enable all participants to attend in person. Furthermore, it will also benefit you to schedule a face2face meeting at what you anticipate will be the meeting during which you expect to clinch the sale. Facilitating good communication and encouraging transparency and collaboration are easier to achieve in face2face interactions and make it easier to both encourage the sale and plant the seeds of a good client relationship.
  2. In-person meetings provide a forum for you and the decision team to get to get comfortable enough to share relevant information and build trust. The intimacy of in-person interactions are the fastest way to learn what really motivated the prospect’s team to seek out and evaluate your company’s solution. It’s much easier to bring this type of info to the surface when all players are in a room together. Face2face meetings encourage the development of communication and trust whose depth will surpass a merely transactional agenda. Like marketing leaders, sales leaders want to add to their roster clients who are willing to bring repeat business and make referrals to your company. BTW, you can also make referrals for your clients, an action that is certain to strengthen your business relationships.
  3. Sales meetings are typically the setting in which you receive previously undisclosed info that reveals why your prospect is willing to resolve a certain pain point by seeking a solution (that you hope to provide). The prospect’s team might divulge false starts, frustrations and failures that were the outcomes of other solutions. You can move the discovery forward by developing a list of open-ended questions that may encourage decision team members to talk, so that you can actively listen and take notes. Obtaining a clear understanding of client motives, goals, past experiences and concerns will allow you to personalize a solution that addresses what matters to the prospect.
  4. Prospective clients in most cases are concerned with maximizing value for the spend. Therefore, you are advised to focus on the dependable benefits of your solution’s outcomes and results, rather than reciting a list of features that are associated with the service or product.
  5. It is often said that half of life is about showing up; the other half is about the right kind of follow-up. If you’re waiting anxiously for an answer that concerns the proceedings of a recent sales conversation, by all means reach out and make contact. Your job is to add value to the communication and not bring pressure. Good meeting notes will help you to diplomatically present information that addresses client needs and priorities and moves the sale toward a successful conclusion. Maybe you can send a case study that was not previously discussed, or there is an add-on or upgrade that is not costly in terms of time and/or money for you to provide, but will bring value to the client and make your solution more attractive?

Sales skills are critical for B2B sector Freelancers and SMB owners. Those who sell are the revenue engine, making periodic professional sales skills training a must-do. If you’re the company’s one-person sales team, you’ll be much more successful when you sharpen your ability to persuasively and clearly articulate your product or service value proposition/unique sales proposition, refine your responses to prospect questions and objections so that you instill confidence—and close deals in a way that builds client relationships. Keep in mind that utilizing sales best practices tactics alone will not ensure success in the hypercompetitive B2B sector. Producing sales revenue and profit that achieves your targets will also require that you stay abreast of the evolving expectations of your clients and prospects and updated on industry developments and trends.

  1. Instituting an efficient sales system is essential for B2B sector Freelancers and SMBs. A CRM (customer relationship management) system that helps you to monitor leads, sales offers being considered and prospective client interactions should be a part of your sales system. You should establish an inbound sales pipeline that helps you visualize your sales process and identify areas where you can improve. Refer to your marketing buyer persona and use that profile as a snapshot of the client(s) you’re selling to, so that you can tailor and personalize your sales process to fit their needs and expectations. 
  2. Freelance consultants and SMBs operating in the B2B sector must develop a sales strategy.  Your sales strategy will guide you to identify reasonable and attainable sales revenue goals and identify potentially useful sales distribution strategies. Might facilitating website online ordering of certain of your products or services be attractive to your clients and persuade them to do more business with you? Your sales strategy will also guide you to identify principle competitors and learn how to persuasively articulate your unique sales proposition.
  3. Make your sales pitch simple and easy for the client to envision how your solution can be incorporated into the workflow and operate in the real world. Provide information about how your solution can meet the prospect’s specific needs—that is, benefits and outcomes— rather than the ins and outs of service or product features.
  4. Recognize and introduce opportunities to up-sell to premium level service or cross-sell add-on services or accessories. If your service or product line does not currently feature options to “trade-up” or ‘add-on,” consider how you can include such options. For example, designing an “economy” level service may attract interested prospects who are on a budget but are motivated to become buyers. On the other hand, those who have more expansive needs and a budget to match may be ideal candidates for up-selling to premium service/product options, or add-ons.
  5. In 2025-2026, the payment options you offer to prospects can be presented as a competitive advantage. As fintech expands what’s possible, know that buyer expectations are shifting toward flexible, personalized payment terms. Furthermore, cybersecurity and other risk-mitigating considerations are at top of mind. Confirm that your current payment options meet buyer expectations of payment transaction security and give yourself another pathway to encouraging sales and developing good business relationships.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

Image: © Rido/Dreamstime

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Remember My Name

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Face2Face networking has undeniably made its post-pandemic comeback, bringing with it the persuasive energy of body language—sparkling eyes, friendly smiles and warm handshakes—that paves the way to successful networking. The goal of networking is to meet people and build relationships and for that reason it is important to all working professionals, from Freelance photographers to physicians, ballet dancers to bond traders. Meeting professional peers, in particular potential clients or employers, is integral to your professional life and that is especially true for business owners and the independently employed.

When you think of networking organized events may come to mind, such as those hosted by neighborhood business association, chambers of commerce and professional associations but in reality, networking can successfully take place in any environment, from the golf course to a dinner party hosted by a friend. While networking can happen in either business or casual environments, the process requires good manners and a good attitude and you want to get the basics right. One networking basic you’d be wise to get right is remembering the name of the person you’ve just met.

Or maybe the two of you met six months ago but one thing is certain—if you want to make a good impression, remembering that person’s name is one of the best ways to do it. However, many of us are not good at remembering names.

“What’s in a name?” asks Juliet Capulet in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Plenty. When someone remembers your name, it communicates the value that person has assigned to you and is, as you know, a great compliment. Keith Ferrazzi, author of the New York Times bestseller Never Lead Alone (2024) and founder and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight, a research and consulting firm based in Los Angeles, who also presents a course on networking and relationship-building, advises that most of all, you should decide to care about remembering names, “If you make a conscious decision that you are going to remember names,” he explains, “it’s because you care about the people you meet and you will immediately become much better at doing it!” Here’s how you can reinforce your memory for names and give a good start to establishing relationships that are the purpose of your networking activities:

1. Listen and repeat
When meeting someone for the first time, pay close attention. Your goal is to create conditions that help you remember the name of the person you’ve had the good fortune to meet. Make the most of this networking opportunity by turning on your listening skills and focusing your attention as the introduction takes place. Look your new acquaintance in the eyes and smile, to acknowledge his/her presence. Your first opportunity to say his/her name is when you reply to the introduction, “I’m happy to meet you, (name).” This action is an important step toward reinforcing the name in your memory as you greet the new acquaintance.

Now that networking has begun, shut down competing claims on your attention, such as the sudden awareness that the prospect you’ve been chasing for six months is at the buffet table. Instead, start a line of small talk about the event; you might ask what motivated your new acquaintance to attend and if s/he has attended the event previously? During the pleasantries, as you learn something of his/her professional background, listen for socially appropriate opportunities to repeat the name. You might even invite him/her along to the buffet table as you chat. Who knows, your new acquaintance may be a colleague of the prospect you’d like to connect with and being in the company of this individual will work in your favor. That is the essence of networking, is it not?

2. Associate and anchor
Create if you’re able, an association for the name of your new acquaintance. As the two of you talk, you may discover common acquaintances or business or social affiliations and these commonalities can be used to help you remember his/her name. Charan Rangathan, a neuroscience professor at the University of California at Davis and author of the New York Times bestseller Why We Remember (2024), advises us to “… be intentional about remembering what matters.” Being intentional means taking active steps to remember what is noteworthy and relevant and allowing yourself to forget or ignore what is unimportant. 

Rangathan emphasizes that the secret to intentionally remembering a name is to make an association between the name and the face. “When you tell me that you find it hard to remember a person’s name, what you’re really saying is you can’t remember the association between the name and the face,” he says. In other words, you can recall a name, and you can recall a face, but you must make an effort to link the two. Simply repeating a person’s name isn’t enough–-the link between name and face is what matters.

Furthermore, Ranganath notes that, “…the more background information you have about a person, the name becomes easier to attach to the face.” So, as noted above, segue into a conversation and move toward organically building a relationship with your new acquaintance. Practice his/her name by using it once or twice more in the conversation as you get to know each other.

3. Admit when you forget
If a name slips your mind, don’t panic—just acknowledge the lapse graciously by asking, “I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name; would you remind me, please?” No one will think less of you for doing so; in fact, it’s safe to assume that most will appreciate your desire to remember their name and begin establishing a relationship by reconfirming the first step—remembering that person’s name.

4. Name tag strategies

The humble and utilitarian name tag is a valuable tool for networking and making connections. The name tag is an icebreaker and facilitates introductions, which is the first step of relationship-building. Name tags announce your name, business or company name and your title, information that makes you relatable and invites others to get to know you. Second, name tags ensure that you’ll remember the names of those you meet, especially those you’d like to follow up with. Name tags can also serve a third purpose—if you’re able to arrive soon after the event door opens, once you’ve claimed your own name tag you can often survey name tags that are on the registration table, waiting to be claimed. You may be delighted to see the name of someone you’d like to meet or with whom you’d like to reconnect—and that person will arrive soon!

Name tags can get the ball rolling on introductions that might lead to building good relationships, but did you know that there is a correct way to wear one? This may not be at top of mind, but you’ve probably met a few people who wore theirs incorrectly and you might agree that it makes for an awkward situation. After all, the purpose of a name tag is to identify registered meeting attendees and allow fellow participants to see (and remember) one another’s names. Below are practical hints that guide name tag etiquette and make the meet & greet easier at your next networking event.

  • Wear the name tag on your right side, two or three inches below your collarbone, which positions it to be easily seen while shaking hands, when your right side will move forward and bring the name tag into view. Right side name tag placement makes it easy for those you meet to read your name tag without having to ask your name or strain their neck to read it. Name tags worn on the left side can make it difficult for others to see your name during the handshake.
  • Keep your name tag (or lanyard) visible at all times and wear it throughout the event, so that your name (plus company name and title) will be visible and perhaps spark an introduction and conversation. Take care not to allow your name tag or lanyard to become trapped beneath clothing or accessories; make sure that your jacket, sweater, necktie, scarf, or other items do not obscure your valuable networking resource.
  • When name tags or lanyards are not pre-printed and attendees must write-in their name, use lettering that’s large enough to be easily readable from a distance. If your writing is too small, people will have to squint or get uncomfortably close to read your name. Remember that your name tag is a personal identification tool that has the potential to play a role in building your business or career by facilitating introductions and promoting the development of relationships.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

Image: ©Zoonar (2013)

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Lemons into Lemonade: When the Prospect Says No

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Unless you’re selling iPhones and iPads or another hot product, you know that sales is a tough business (I speak from lived experience). It’s a fact that prospects usually decline to buy. According to 2024 data compiled by researchers at Hubspot, the inbound marketing company based in Cambridge, MA, the average B2B sale has a success rate of 29%. https://blog.hubspot.com/sales/sales-statistics

Selling is a complex and intimate form of communication, a skill that’s impacted by luck (good or bad), timing, money, relationships, serendipitous trends and the needs or wants of prospective customers. Is it possible to crack the 29% close rate? Maybe if you’re an especially gifted talker and luck is on your side. For the rest of us, though, a lost sale means trying to get past disappointment as you pick up the pieces and move on.

When you think about it, you may agree that the best outcome of a sales presentation is to get an honest answer from your prospect. The worse possible outcome is when the prospect ghosts you, gives you the silent treatment. According to research by Matt Dixon and Ted McKenna, co-founders of DCM Insights, a B2B sales training company, and co-authors of The Jolt Effect: How High Performers Overcome Customer Indecision (2022), 40% – 60% of B2B sales are lost to no decision—ghosting by another name. Yes is always the favorite answer but even no feels better than being ghosted.

If selling is integral to your business, you’ll do well to focus on just getting an answer from your prospect, even if it’s not the one you hope for. In the competitive terrain of B2B sales, the pressure to extract yes from prospects can lead to frustration and stress. But those whose livelihood depends on successful sales—Freelancers, business owners and sales reps working for a company they don’t own—cannot continually chase down prospects, especially when it’s obvious they’ve slipped away. That’s a losing strategy, both time-wasting and corrosive to self-esteem.

There is a sliver of bright side, however, because when the prospect says no, it doesn’t always mean that you leave the scene empty-handed. The less experienced or confident salesperson will automatically assume that no means never. That could be true, but those who’ve been around the block a couple of times know that a prospect who declines to buy today might mean, “let’s talk at another time.” Those who sell should be aware that a third option can exist beyond the yes/ no paradigm.

The often neglected third option can lead prospects to revisit, reassess and sometimes redo a rejected sales decision. If you enable the process, you and your prospect together can access the third option and expand the meaning of a successful sale. It’s good sales strategy and respects the power you’ve earned as a professional who creates value.

So, when preparing for the next sales meeting, why not adjust expectations of potential outcomes and re-frame your definition of a “lost” sale? Like describing whether your glass is half-empty or half-full, allow yourself to reclassify no and redefine it as another type of opportunity—kind of like turning lemons into lemonade. Many prospective customers are not completely forthcoming when discussing a potential sale. As noted by Dixon and McKenna (above), roughly half of B2B sales are lost because no decision is made.

That all-too-common lapse should be the biggest motivation for those who sell for a living to ask probing questions when meeting with prospects. You need to tease out any unspoken agenda items and get the cards on the table. You set the stage for a candid discussion during sales meetings by showing that you care: listen well, take notes and repeat key phrases to confirm what needs to be resolved, achieved and/or avoided. Do that and you’ll earn trust and make it comfortable for the prospect to tell you what’s up, instead of ghosting you because s/he can’t figure out how to talk about things.

Yes, no, next steps

To encourage yes (and discourage a future no), make sure you and the prospect establish and agree on whatever next steps will continue the positive momentum of your conversation and facilitate ongoing engagement. In other words, do what you can to keep the prospect talking and keep alive the possibility of a sale, even if the timing will be later rather than sooner. Make the lemonade.

For best results, propose a specific time-frame for follow-up actions that lead to the next conversation. The follow-up will be an action plan that functions to promote the chances of converting the prospect into a yes in the future. Still, remember that your reassessment of a win should mean that you focus on getting a well-considered answer. If the answer is based on a thorough evaluation of your proposal by the prospect’s decision team, then call it a win, whether s/he says yes or no. Ghosting is what you want to avoid. Here are rewards you’ll get when you re-frame the meaning of successful selling:

  • Yes: Always the favorite answer. Your talking points and proposal convinced the prospect.
  • No: An unequivocal no does not always represent failure, as it tells you to move forward and pursue potentially more promising leads. The earlier in the sales process that no arrives the better it is for you. Then, you can redirect your time and energy on opportunities that may get you to yes.
  • Next steps: This option is based on specific follow-up actions and a scheduled time to meet with your prospect. Next steps is a win because it confirms potential interest and outlines a roadmap to a possible “yes.” The key to next steps is a specific follow-up time-frame.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

Image: © Getty images. Children Selling Lemonade, 1945

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Virtual Mode Selling Asks You to be Mindful

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When you have a product or service to sell, it’s important to connect and communicate in formats that are convenient and comfortable for your prospect. As we discovered in the early days of the coronavirus shutdown, face2face In Real Life conversations cannot always be arranged. In March and April 2020, you took your first clumsy steps into videoconferencing. Once in a while, you leaned into telephone meetings, one-on-one conversations and group conference calls, too.

You did your best to maintain business as usual (under very unusual conditions) and that included talking with prospects about how your solutions might be of service in COVID era business conditions. As you continued to schedule virtual sales calls and other types of negotiations, it became apparent that the distance inherent in videoconferencing (and also phone calls) presents an obstacle to sensitive conversations. It’s so much easier to to connect with your prospect when you’re sitting in a room together. When in a face2face conversation, you’re more adept at conveying empathy for your prospect and showing your grasp of his/her situation. You instinctively know how to create trust that will nurture a good relationship and encourage the sale.

Virtual mode team meetings are one thing but selling, what with the nuance and expertise required to handle objections in a way that reassures and the diplomacy that supports you during price negotiations, can be rather a challenge. Selling is selling, whether you and the prospect are hashing through details while across the desk from one another, or while you try to make eye contact with a video image, or maintain your focus while speaking to a disembodied voice on the telephone. It’s just that you would be wise to remember that your approach to virtual mode selling must differ from face2face discussions.

Virtual communication requires a pronounced shift to a client-centered perspective. An intentional strategy on your part is needed to more effectively reach across the digital divide to establish rapport and build trust. Below are five actions you can incorporate into your virtual sales calls to show prospects that you understand their needs, priorities and concerns and enable them to feel secure as you guide them through the sales journey.

Lead with empathy

When prospects demonstrate interest in your product or service, perhaps by responding to your inbound marketing, it’s because they need a solution that will solve a problem or enable a goal to be reached. Descriptions of your product or service have aroused curiosity. They hope you’ll understand what they need to do and how to efficiently get it done. Demonstrate both empathy and business acumen by asking questions to show you intend to understand their needs and propose a credible solution.

Employ active listening

It’s been said that the most successful sales professionals devote as much as 80% of their sales conversions to asking questions of the prospect and listening to the answers. The best way to persuade prospects to become clients is to create conditions where they feel seen, heard and understood. You do that by listening more and talking less. When in doubt, or to confirm your understanding of the situation, ask more questions. The more carefully you listen, the more sales you’ll make.

Become the trusted adviser
Your would-be clients are in need of a solution, but they won’t buy until and unless they trust you. The worst move you can make is to get someone on your screen or on the phone and make it obvious that your motive is to rope them into a fast sale. No one wants to have a sales call with someone who just wants to “close” them and maybe even trick them into spending money on a solution that’s not the best and costs more than it should.

Serious prospects want an advocate — a smart, dependable adviser whom they can grow to trust. Prospects, whether they consciously realize or not, want to do business with a professional whose primary intention is to be of service. They back away from those who are too hungry for a sale.

Exhibit the behaviors referenced above and direct them to help you understand the prospect’s need, earning trust and building a relationship as you come to understand how you can be of assistance—-ideally by providing them with the right solution at the right price. A 2019 study published by Gartner Peer Insights found that customer perceptions of a sales professional are a critical element of purchase decisions. Customers are motivated to spend on purchases that support business growth when they feel their sales contact is a trusted adviser who boosts their confidence in their purchasing decisions.

Emphasize outcomes and benefits

The best sales professionals focus heavily on the solution’s outcomes and results, often by painting a vivid picture of how the prospect’s working environment will benefit when the solution is implemented. Prospects want you to take the lead, figure out what’s going on and tell them why your solution will work, without getting bogged down in minutiae. What really matters to prospects is, “How will my life be different after we work together? Will this project be worth the pain—i.e., time and money—-of hiring you”?

Moderate your tone of voice

It’s not only what you say, but how you say it. You’ll be most comfortable speaking in your natural vocal tone, but it may be to your advantage to adapt it for virtual formats, just as you do for speaking to an audience. You don’t want to sound timid and apologetic, but neither do you want to be perceived as arrogant or intimidating.

The ideal tone of voice for virtual (or face2face) presentations is warm, businesslike, confident and straight to the point. Your tone of voice and the pace of your speech should convey a sense of expertise, authority and trustworthiness to your prospects. Use your smartphone to record yourself reading a paragraph and play back to critique your pace, tone, elocution and relatability. Your goal is to find a way of speaking that is both authoritative and friendly.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

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The Power of Listening

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Recently, I attended a reception at the women’s club where I’m a member.  When I attend programs, I make it a point to circulate and talk, usually joining three or four tables over the course of an event.  I’ve been fortunate to participate in dozens of conversations, meaningful and superficial, and I’ve formed some good relationships.  When in conversation, ideally, I listen more than I talk. That ebb and flow is the subtle dance of communication.

While in conversation, learning to keep one’s mouth shut and ears open, so that you can focus attention on the person who is speaking, requires mindfulness and discipline.  So often we do not really listen, we only pause, to formulate an answer that will help us win a debate or demonstrate expertise in the topic.  Conversation can become a game of one-upmanship, when we’re more interested in being clever, or seeming to be very wise or au courant.

When you take the time to listen, the ego must be set aside as you signal the unique value of the other person by allowing him/her to express thoughts and feelings, insights and knowledge.  You may appear to be passive but in reality, listening well is quite active.  When we listen with intention, most of our senses are activated.

We watch facial expressions and detect happiness, distress, interest, or boredom in the eyes and mouth and even the posture.  We hear the cadence of speech, the choice of words used and the tone of voice.  In this way, we take in the story as it is told and we begin to understand the other person’s values, worries, joys, competencies and humor.  Listening with conviction is the highest compliment that one can pay to another human being.  When we listen, we get to know people and build relationships.

Careful listening also allows you to grasp what a person does not say and that could be very revealing.  Hone your listening skills and learn to “listen between the lines,” so that you can more fully understand the motivations and perhaps hidden agendas of those with whom you interact.  Listen and get a sense of who is telling the truth and who is hiding behind a facade.  Whether you are in a negotiation with a client, interviewing a job candidate, or at dinner with someone you wonder if you should see again, listening well will guide your next steps.

Listening skills are a key ingredient of selling skills.  Listen carefully to your prospect and learn what is most important to him/her and then describe how your product or service will resolve the need and eliminate difficulties.  If you are a Freelance consultant who is interviewing with the hope of winning an assignment Dave Mattson, CEO and president of Sandler Training, the sales training firm, recommends that you get straight to the point and ask what three criteria define success for the project and then listen, and truly hear, the answer.  You will quickly discover whether you are a good fit for the project and what you must say and do to win it.

Finally, listening will allow you to adjust your style of communication to align with the person you are speaking with and that is a very important part of building trust, demonstrating proficiencies, telegraphing empathy and being persuasive, the building blocks of both good relationships and effective selling.  Essentially, your heightened listening will allow the two of you to speak the same language and that is the heart of effective communication.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

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Listen and Learn, Hear and Understand

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If we would become better listeners, then the world would become a better place. Effective listening is a cornerstone of relationship – building  and relationships are the foundation of diplomacy.  The ability to listen effectively is a valuable leadership skill.

Listening is complex and contrary to popular perception it is active, not passive . Our ears and eyes, biases and fears, past experiences and hopes for the future all impact our interpretations of what is said to us.  We really do hear what we want to hear.

Active listening is a demonstration of empathy and respect . When we grant an opportunity to hear one who would like to share information, we validate  that person and the  story. Active, effective listening requires that we are fully present. Simultaneous engagement in multi-tasking activities is detrimental to the process.

In the September 1, 1957 issue of the Harvard Business Review, Ralph Nichols and Leonard Stevens interviewed more than 1000 college students and several hundred business executives and found that our listening skills are not stellar. We are largely unable to retain more than 50 % of what has been told to us, immediately after the telling.  Eight hours later, we will retain about 1/3 of what has been told to us.  Six months later and we retain merely 25 % of the story or information.

Nichols and Leonard revealed a main obstacle to listening—we think much faster than we speak. As we listen, or if we listen,  to information that is being delivered comparatively slowly, our busy brains are either coloring the story with our personal biases or agendas, or we’re thinking about something  else entirely.

They suggest that in order to bolster our listening skills, we might give our brains something to do that supports the activity:

1.  Take notes to improve recall of important points.

2.  Incorporate other senses, such as sight, and make note of body language and facial expressions. As well, note tone of voice and emotional state.

3.  Process the information as it is delivered and  try to make sense of it. Formulate questions and think about what was not said.

4.  Respond by first confirming that you correctly understand what has been said and then move on to other clarifying questions.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

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Listen and Learn

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“We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.”   –Diogenes

We love the sound of our own voice,  so much so that we sometimes don’t know when to shut up.   Talking is lots of fun,  especially for the extroverts among us.  Silence can be uncomfortable.   But we all know that listening is an important communication skill.  When we allow others to express themselves and tell their story,  we demonstrate that we care about them and that we value the quality of the information that they are sharing.

The benefits of good listening skills are significant.  Everyone loves a good listener and one invariably learns a lot by listening,  including who is worth listening to!  People will open up and sometimes say the darndest things and all we have to do is be there and show that we are paying attention.  It is ironic that saying and  (mostly)  doing nothing is such a vital component of relationship-building.  Yet listening is the foundation of bonding;  silently,  one demonstrates empathy,  telegraphs that another human being matters and creates rapport.  Fortunately,  the art of listening can be learned.

Attention, please

When listening,  give the speaker your undivided attention.  Nothing else demonstrates the level of respect that you have for another than this one act.  Let the phone go to voicemail,  close the laptop lid.   Sharing your valuable time with another and focusing your attention on that individual is so validating.  It is also a defining element of charisma.  Charismatic people are known to make whomever they are listening to feel as if only the two of them are in the room.   Demonstrate your laser focus with eye contact,   smiling or showing concern,  nodding your head and declining to interrupt,  except to ask a question or two that ensures that you understand what is being said.

Risk acknowledgement

As noted above,  when people start talking,   you might be floored by what is revealed.   No matter how you feel about what has been said,   maintain your cool.   Show that you are worthy of the trust that has been extended to you by way of the revelation.   Appreciate and acknowledge the risk that was taken by the speaker when the decision was made to confide in you.

Take notes

Always take notes when in a business meeting.   When you write as someone talks,  you demonstrate that the subject of the conversation is important to you.  The note-taking process also allows you to ask questions to ensure that you understand what has been said.  Within 24 hours,  send an email in which you thank that individual for meeting with you and confirm the agreed-upon next steps.

Achieve understanding

Stephen Covey (1932-2012),  author of the timeless self-help classic The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People  (1989),  noted that most people listen not to understand,  but to reply.  Be careful not to jump to conclusions or hear only what you want or expect to hear.  Perfect the art of listening and minimize miscommunication problems that can lead to costly mistakes or hurt feelings.

Listening is an art form that unfortunately,  is underrated.  Regardless,  the most compelling leaders,  the most successful sales professionals,  the most powerful negotiators,  the most charismatic people and those with whom we develop the most satisfying relationships are all active listeners.   Follow the advice of Diogenes and sharpen your listening skills by employing patience and self-discipline to your business and social conversations.

Thanks for reading,

Kim