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Power and Success

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Powerful people achieve success.  They are able to create opportunities that lead to success,  or they have opportunities to create success handed to them.  Power can emanate from several sources,  most famously from money and family connections.  Power also emanates from various other sources,  such as athletic ability (football hero);  musical ability (rock star);  intellect (IQ, intelligence quotient) that allows one to earn a degree from a prestigious school;  and relationships (EQ, emotional quotient / EI emotional intelligence) with powerful and influential people.  All of these power sources can be leveraged and used to propel oneself into environments where opportunities to create success are available.

For the majority of us power,  should we seek to pursue it (and most do not),  is an attribute that we develop on our own,  knowingly or unknowingly,  with or without intention and the EQ-based power that emanates from relationships is the power that is most accessible.   This variety of personal power is derived through the way we interact with others in personal and professional relationships.  To acquire this power,  one must be competent and trustworthy.   Additionally,  it is imperative to relate to others in a way that makes those who know you feel valued and good about themselves.  Those who acquire personal power through their relationships must be authentic,  or do an excellent job of convincing others that this is the case.  Powerful people inspire great loyalty and respect.

Personal power is an integral building block of leadership ability.  It can be argued that the wherewithal to develop personal power derives from the capacity to lead oneself.  Improving the ability to develop and sustain relationships by heightening EQ expertise helps one open doors that lead to opportunities that help us achieve success in business and life.  Here are guidelines that can serve as your EQ training regimen.  They were developed by Daniel Goleman,  author of Emotional Intelligence  (1995)  and based on the work of John Mayer,  personality psychologist at the University of New Hampshire and Peter Salovey,  social psychologist and president of Yale University:

I.      Self-awareness

The ability  (or courage)  to recognize and acknowledge one’s emotions,  motivations,  fears,  strengths and weaknesses and to understand the impact these have on our decision-making and interactions with others.  Accurate self-assessment and self-confidence are    required to master this element.

II.    Self-management

The ability  (or self-discipline)  to regulate,  control,  or redirect one’s disruptive  (read irrational,  inappropriate or destructive)  emotions or behaviors and successfully adapting to changing circumstances are the essential skills here.  This is not to say that one should knuckle under to adversity.  Just don’t throw any chairs.  Learn to fight back in a smart way that reflects well on you.  When necessary be flexible,  gracefully roll with the punches,  or devise Plan B.  Honesty,  integrity,  follow-through,  time management,  initiative and ambition reside in this element.

III.   Relationship management

Building bonds,  teamwork,  collaboration,  conflict management and social skills are the focus.  Those all-important interpersonal skills that allow us to relate to and connect with people are nurtured in this element,  as is leadership ability.  To strengthen these behaviors,  pay attention to feedback from others,   positive and negative.  Have the good judgment and maturity to display more of those behaviors that elicit positive feedback and much less of behaviors that generate unflattering comments.  Realize that there is such a thing as constructive criticism and avoid getting defensive and hostile when someone lets you know that perhaps you could have handled something another way.  Furthermore,  as painful as it might be,  listen also and check yourself when haters pounce,  for there might be a grain of truth in the venom they spew.

IV.   Empathy

EQ does not exist without genuine empathy.  Demonstrate that the feelings of others matter to you by be willing to consider the impact of your actions and decisions on others.  Think of intent vs. impact.  Challenge yourself to imagine how it might feel to be in the other person’s shoes and see the situation from another perspective.   Learn to take steps to hear and address the concerns of others.  Master this element and you’ll become a more successful negotiator.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

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Cosi Fan Tutte: Uber Achievers

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Hello again and welcome back to the list of suggested behaviors and activities that will help you achieve your 2014 wish list.  For the past three years I presented New Year’s Resolutions but this year,  you get to pick what you want to do.  I’m here to help you get what you want!  To do that,  I read up on motivational psychologist and Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia University School of Business Heidi Grant Halvorson,  who writes for The Harvard Business Review.  Dr. Grant Halvorson is a highly successful professional,  but unlike many charmed individuals,  it is safe to say that she knows how she became,  and remains,  successful.   Here are the final four elements of her 201 1 e-book,  Nine Things Successful People Do Differently:

VI.   KEEP ON KEEPING ON: Be willing to commit to long-term goals and persevere in the face of difficulty.  Studies show that those who are able to put shoulder to the wheel and push through adversity obtain more education in their lifetime and earn higher grade point averages in school.  To help yourself along,  plan specific actions that when followed will bring you to your goal.  Devise a timeline for your action plan,  monitor the efficacy of strategies and reward yourself when important milestones are reached.

VII.  BUILD WILLPOWER MUSCLES: Our self-control muscle is like any other of our muscles.  When we don’t use it,  it eventually atrophies.  Use it or lose it! Give your willpower muscle a good workout by taking on small challenges that compel you to do something that perhaps you’d rather not,  e.g. taking on a home cleaning and organizing project.  Establish must-start and must-complete dates and then commit to them.   If you find yourself wavering and making excuses to put off the project—don’t!  Flex your willpower muscle and do some heavy lifting.  As you develop inner strength,  also known as self-discipline,  you’ll ready yourself to take on bigger challenges and achieve more life-changing goals.  It’s like training for a marathon by starting with 5K races.

VIII. DON’T TEMPT FATE: No matter how strong your willpower becomes,  it is important to always respect the inevitable fact that human beings have limits.  If you over-reach,  you’ll run out of steam or out of luck.  Avoid taking on more than one major challenge at a time if you can help it.  Do not be over-confident and bite off more than you can chew by setting obviously unattainable goals.  Successful people instinctively know what is in the realm of the possible and refrain from setting themselves up for failure.

IX.  FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WILL DO: …and not on what you will not do.  Research on thought suppression shows that trying to avoid a thought has the opposite effect and makes that thought grow larger in our minds.  The same holds true for behaviors.  By trying not to engage in a bad habit,  like smoking or eating junk food,  the habit becomes strengthened instead of broken.  Instead,  turn your thoughts toward implementing strategies that will bring you to your goal.

I hope that reading Dr. Grant Halvorson’s  Nine Things  helps you to acknowledge what you’ve been doing right all along.   As well,  I hope you’re able to identify the mistakes that have undermined you and that going forward,  you will develop successful strategies that pave the way to your most important goals.  Have a wonderful year.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

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Become An Uber Achiever

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Happy New Year!  Please accept my sincere best wishes for a happy and successful 2014.  As is customary,  I begin the year with information I consider to be motivational,  since a new year  (along with Spring)  suggests a fresh start.  In my first posts of 2011,  2012 and 2013,  I presented lists of suggested New Year’s Resolutions for you to adopt.  This year,  I invite you to choose the goal of your dreams and I’m pleased to pass along suggestions on how to make it your own.

You may have noticed that many highly successful people do not have a clear sense of how they manage to grab the brass ring time and again.  Often,  uber achievers do not have an awareness of what allows them to succeed or prevents them from failing.  How do certain mere mortals repeatedly gain the favor of the gods?

It is true that we all have a repository of certain attributes,  advantages,  competencies and talents: the natural salesman,  the math whiz,  the influential family.  Some may encounter a wise and powerful mentor along the way,  who guides them onto the right path,  keeps them out of harm’s way or gives them the heads-up about opportunities on the horizon.

Motivational psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson says in her book  Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals  (2011)  that research on achievement suggests that successful people reach their goals not only because of the cards they hold,  but also because of what they do.  Halvorson has spilled the beans on what other behaviors makes the rich different from you and me  (with apologies to those who do not equate success with wealth):

I.    BE SPECIFIC: When setting goals,  be as specific as possible.  Knowing precisely what you want to achieve keeps you motivated until you get there.  Furthermore,  identify and commit to specific actions that must be taken to reach your goal,  actions that leave no room for doubt about what must be done.

II.   CARPE DIEM: Achieving goals means recognizing and acting upon opportunities before they slip through your fingers.  Make sure that you don’t fail to ride a good wave because you didn’t bother to anticipate its possible arrival,  or because you were distracted by competing pursuits and dramas.  Open the door to success by planning to take real steps toward your goals.  Studies show that planning trains our brain to recognize and seize opportunities when they arise,  in that way increasing our chance of success by about 300%.  In other words,  plan to succeed.

III.  MONITOR AND MEASURE: Achieving goals requires regular monitoring of one’s progress.  Know your timeline and milestones and adjust your strategies and actions according to progress made.  Rewarding yourself for interim successes is a good idea.

IV.  REALISTIC OPTIMISM: Thinking positively about the likelihood of achieving your goal is enormously helpful in creating the conditions for success and sustaining motivation.  Nevertheless,  guard against underestimating how difficult it may be to get where you want to go.  Anything worth having is likely to require significant time,  planning,  sacrifice and persistence.  Daughter-in-law of the Prince of Wales,  mother of a future king of England,  Catherine Middleton used to be called “Waity Katy”.   Now she’s known as the Duchess of Cambridge!

V.   GETTING BETTER: Believing that you are able to reach your goal is imperative.  Equally important is believing that you can acquire  the ability to reach your goal.  In other words,  focus on acquiring whatever the building blocks of success may be,  whether that means learning new skills or developing relationships with those who can help move you forward.

I’ll be back next week with a few more building blocks for you to incorporate into your plan for success.  Have a great week.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

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Self -Discipline, the Secret of Your Success

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How do you build a successful life and business? Good fortune helps tremendously,  but it is possible to if not actually create your own good luck,  then create the drive needed to build the best life possible.  Business coach and strategy consultant Dan Kennedy advises that we develop self-discipline.  To help our understanding of the concept, he breaks self-discipline into four parts:

Will power

Will power is the core of self-discipline.  It’s like a muscle and if we want to develop that muscle and ascend to self-discipline,  then practice is required.  As with running or weight lifting,  start small and gradually build to more challenging work.   Making yourself vacuum and do laundry could be a good place to start,  if those tasks bring out avoidance behavior in you.   Speaking of exercise,  scheduling and completing a certain number of weekly workouts is another way to simultaneously build our will power and physical muscles.   Set up a rewards program when important milestones are achieved.  Massages and facials are nice relaxing gifts to yourself.

Awareness

Value and respect time and boundaries,  your own and that of others.  Cease immediately selfish and controlling behavior.  Appreciate that everyone has responsibilities that very likely must be completed within a certain time frame.  Calculate  in realistic terms how long it will take you to travel from point A to point B,  for example,  and give yourself the appropriate time to reach your destination at the appointed hour.  The pay-off to your reputation will be significant.

Decision

Kennedy notes that all achievement is fueled by decision-making.  If we acknowledge our priorities and then decide to make those priorities a reality,  then we will do what is necessary to ensure their creation and sustainability.   Self-discipline is integral to decision-making.  Refusing to exercise self-discipline has deleterious consequences.

Should we decide to not decide,  we table decision-making indefinitely and never become a responsible and productive adult.  If we are paralyzed by the process of decision-making,  we become trapped in a vortex and squander all opportunities to utilize or attract good fortune.  Such an individual becomes a wastrel.  Decision-making is goal setting and all self-disciplined individuals identify and pursue goals.

Action

Kennedy points to three kinds of action,  which I interpret as an arc: planning,  implementation and completion.  Once the decision is made,  a plan is then created,  to give yourself a road map and timetable to bring your goal into reality.  In business,  one would think strategy and action planning.  Next,   implement your plan and see it through to completion,  making any necessary adjustments along the way.

This is the point at which self-discipline becomes essential.   As we all know,   many initiatives are begun with great enthusiasm,  but not all are completed.  Give your self-discipline a fighting chance and set SMART goals for yourself:  specific,  measurable,  attainable,  relevant and timely and then create a strategy and action plans that make achievement of your goals a likely possibility.  If you anticipate obstacles,   build into your strategy a way to overcome them.

Self-discipline is the foundation of a successful life and it brings many rewards,  not the least of which is integrity and authenticity.  I would consider those attributes to be the most desirable personal brand.

Thanks for reading and Happy New Year,

Kim

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The Luck of the Freelancer

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St. Patrick’s Day was celebrated on March 17 and in Suffolk County,   St. Paddy’s  Day is a very big deal.  There is a huge parade,  bakeries sell Irish soda bread throughout the month  (it’s great toasted and slathered with lots of butter),  bars sell green beer and some grocery stores even sell green bagels.  The city declares a holiday  (officially called Evacuation Day)  and the parking meters are off.

So it got me thinking about four-leaf clovers and good luck and all of that.  Like most people,   I am convinced that success in life and business is impacted by luck.   Being born to a wealthy and influential family,  having loving and supportive parents,  being exceptionally talented in science or with languages,  getting seated next to a potential client at a dinner party—that’s all random good luck that no one can control.

A  recent LinkedIn survey of 7,000 of their members found that 84%  believe in career luck.   Both Napoleon Bonaparte and former U.S. president Dwight D. Eisenhower were quoted as saying they preferred a lucky general to a smart one.   I mean,  why is it that some people always manage to be in the right place at the right time?

Some experts claim that we have a hand in creating our luck,  good or bad.   A recent study by Richard Wiseman,  Professor of Psychology at the University of Hertfordshire in the UK,  demonstrated that simply believing that one is lucky can create positive outcomes.   Wiseman studied two groups of people: one group whose members considered themselves to be  “lucky”  and another group whose members considered themselves to be  “unlucky”.

He gave participants in each group a newspaper and instructed all to as quickly as possible,  go through the paper and report how many photographs were to be found within.   The results were interesting.   The  “lucky”  study subjects reported back their  (correct)  answers within seconds,  much faster than the  “unlucky”  subjects reported back their  (often incorrect)  answers.   What accounted for the difference?  On page two of the paper there appeared an advertisement with this message:  “Stop counting.  There are 43 photographs in this newspaper.”

Wiseman concluded that the   “unlucky”  study subjects were blind to their opportunity to succeed because they became too focused on looking for exactly what they were looking for,  to the exclusion of what would help them achieve their goal.   For example,  perhaps  “unlucky”  Freelancers attend networking events in search of their idealized version of the perfect client and as a result ignore others in the room who might also be potential clients.

“Lucky”  people,  on the other hand,  are much more relaxed and open,  willing and able to see what resources lie in their path—like the ad on page two of the newspaper that gave them the winning advantage.  Furthermore,   a strong work ethic is said to increase our chances to create and/or take advantage of good fortune.   Bill Gates got lucky for sure,  but he and Paul Allen also shut themselves up in a room,  rolled up their sleeves and worked very long hours to put themselves in a position to grab the brass ring when it came around.   They also had great faith in the marketability of their ideas,   which is said to be another magnet for good luck.

“Nevertheless,  since our free will must not be denied,  I estimate that even if fortune is the arbiter of half our actions,  she still allows us to control the other half,  or thereabouts.”   Niccolo Machiavelli,  in a 1513 letter to Lorenzo de’Medici

So how can we attract a healthy chunk of  the good fortune that floats through the atmosphere?  Listen to Machiavelli and Professor Wiseman,   Paul Allen and Bill Gates.   Once you know in your gut that your product,  service or idea has good potential to find a client base,  trust your instincts and vigorously pursue and promote what you’ve got.   Work hard and be ready when the good fortune rolls around,  as Machiavelli advised his patron Lorenzo de’Medici.   Most of all,  take off the blinders and see the gold nuggets that may lie within your reach,  as Wiseman’s study demonstrated.   Maybe look for a four-leaf clover and have some soda bread too,   just for good measure.

Good luck to you and thanks for reading,

Kim

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What if…You Change Your Mindset and Seize the Moment?

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For the umpteenth time,  we all know that business conditions are less than stellar and competition is fiercer than ever.  Everything is in flux (or seems to be),  the ground is unsteady and we all have to get comfortable with ambiguity.

But honestly,  none of this is new.  When has life not been ruled by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? When has life ever been safe and predictable? If you chose to get out of bed this morning,  then consider yourself a risk taker. 

Freelancers expect the earth to quake and shake.  We walk the road less traveled and we reach for the stars.  We  expect to be tested.  We know that the only way to become capable,  confident and successful leaders is to face down our fears and challenges.

Freelancers don’t make excuses,  we can’t afford to stay mired in a rut for years at a time and we know when to color outside of the lines.  We assess the big picture of the marketplace and recognize when it’s time to adjust how we fit:  when it’s time to rebrand,  enter a new market,  sharpen our message,  boost our skill set with a helpful seminar,  or forge a strategic partnership.  Freelancers know how to exit our comfort zone to keep what we do fresh, relevant and valuable in the eyes of our clients.

Still,  sometimes we need a little inspiration because alas,  we are mere mortals and cannot always dwell on Mount Olympus.  According to Bill Bartmann,  CEO of Bill Bartmann Enterprises in Tulsa, OK,  there are three behaviors that we must recognize and modify to keep ourselves in positive thinking mode and break the cycle of second-guessing and inaction that repels success.  Be mindful of the influence (for good or ill) that our mindset has on the fortunes of our business and our lives.  Remember that the glass is half  full.

1.  Awareness.  Catch yourself in the act of making excuses or resorting to defensive behavior (“But my situation is different…”) as you seek to justify why you haven’t achieved target goals.  Avoid becoming mired in negative thinking that sucks you into the self-sabotage vortex.  Remember that fear of the unknown is normal.  Realize that like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz,  we must step outside of our comfort zone in order to learn,  grow and move forward.  The Yellow Brick Road presented many surprises as it wound its way to the Emerald City.

2.  Acknowledge challenges.  Denial of reality prevents us from overcoming obstacles.  Just  don’t allow yourself to be handcuffed by them.  Inevitably,  some possibilities will be closed to you,  yet others will be available.  You may have to work hard (and smart) to make those possibilities a reality and you might need some help to reel them in.  A Freelancer is a leader and according to Linda Hill,  professor at the Harvard Business School and co-author (with Kent Lineback) of Being the Boss (January 2011),  “Leadership is not about getting things done yourself—it’s about accomplishing things through others.”  So if your goal is somewhat beyond your grasp,  do not become overwhelmed with despair about the impossibility of it all.  Reach out to the right person.

3.  “What if…” is the phrase that encourages us to see beyond limitation and all the way to the pot of gold.  Say  “what if”  and put yourself on a positive trajectory that allows you to see or create competitive advantages that will be of great benefit.  The  “what if”  mindset is a powerful magnet for good ideas.  The glass half empty mindset is negative.  It crushes good ideas and rebuffs those who could help us realize our goals.  Instead of thinking  “What if I fail”?,  imagine  “What if I succeed”? and let your mind take it from there.

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare,  but because we do not dare that they are difficult”.  

–Seneca 

Thanks for reading.  I hope you’ve managed to survive and thrive this year and I hope that you’ll stop by in 2011.  I value your support.  Thanks again to those of you who’ve made comments.

Kim

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The Law of Attraction

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Let’s chat for a moment about competitive advantage.  For sure,  we must identify and/or invent as many as possible.  One often overlooked competitive advantage is to make everyone think that we HAVE competitive advantage.  Pretty slick,  huh?

Think of it this way:  perception is reality and everybody loves a winner.  Precious few come to the rescue of the down and out.  Failure is frightening and depressing and no one wants to come near,  lest the misfortune rub off on them.

Conversely,  the appearance of success is a magnet for still more success,  mostly because people think you deserve it (you must be doing something right!) and can handle it.  Today’s lesson is that image counts,  so always make yourself  look and feel like a winner.  Invite success to your door—or at the very least,  don’t make it turn tail and run away from you!

Dress for success

When attending any type of function at which you might possibly meet a prospective client, dress appropriately.  Respect the occasion and wear the right casual,  formal or business attire.  Invest in good quality clothing (hit the end-of-season sales) that flatters your body type.  Good quality clothing looks better,  lasts many years and is worth the money because when amortized,  it actually costs less than the cheap stuff.  Dress to impress.

Project the positive

Be enthusiastic and passionate about life and business.  Let your body language,  voice,  eyes and mannerisms  sparkle with good energy.  Walk into every room with confidence,  hold your head high and radiate a positive aura.  Others will be attracted to your glowing presence and they will cross the room to introduce themselves,  to have the pleasure of meeting and talking with you. 

Greet one and all with a firm handshake and a warm smile.  Make good eye contact and show that you are delighted to make their acquaintance and are interested in what they have to say.  People like to do business with people who have positive energy.  It  suggests honesty and expertise and therefore inspires confidence and trust.

You’re worth it

Create a strong value proposition for your business.  Establish that your products and services are top drawer,  will provide unique and highly desirable benefits and therefore command a premium price in the marketplace.  Communicate that your products and services are worth the investment.

Get to know the objectives and priorities of your typical customers and broadcast the benefits that resonate most.  Gather information that allows you to anticipate customer needs and deliver 5 star service every time.  Make your customers grateful to do business with you by knowing how to solve their problems and make them look smart for hiring you.

Do your best to maintain your prices,  even when there is pressure to offer discounts that are outside of your pricing strategy.  There may be times when you must relent,  but defend your position by learning to clearly articulate the ROI of  doing business with you.  Think cariage trade,  not cut-rate.

Business is great

Creditors may be ready to foreclose,  but do not let on to your clients!  Moreover,  be discreet with colleagues,  lest word of your troubles gets bandied about.  The smell of desperation is repellant and clients will take their business elsewhere if it appears that your ship is sinking.  If you expect to do any business at all,  it is imperative that you project capability and dependability.  Financial insolvency does not inspire confidence,  no matter how it happens. 

Remember always that people do business with people that they know and like.  They do more business with people they trust and respect.

Thanks for reading,

Kim