Tag Archives: relationships

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Notes on Networking

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I’ve been thinking about networking lately.  Last week,  I had a great meeting with a young lady I met maybe 5 years ago,  when I revived a volunteer relationship with her organization.  I found the volunteer activity personally rewarding and I took it seriously.  I sharpened a seldom-used skill that I find highly desirable and I saw to it that my work met or exceeded expectations.  Scheduling prevented me from donating services for a couple of years,  but I always responded to her outreach. When she asked to pick my brain about a program-related matter,  which turned into a request for a face-to-face,  I was happy to say yes.

Little did I know that the volunteer service,  that is pro bono consulting work,  will now pay a stipend.  There is also an effort to grow the program.  The organization has had trouble selling to the new target market and I was happy to suggest some talking points that should produce results.  She took lots of notes.  Sometime over the next few months,  I expect that I will be invited to provide more pro bono work,  this time with a very helpful stipend and a chance to gain access to individuals that I would like to add to my client list.

What’s the moral of this networking story? One,  strategic volunteering can pay dividends.  Two,  selectively network at both ends the organization chart.  Don’t assume that lower ranking people are never in a position to help you.  This young lady was the program coordinator,  not a decision-maker and she’s half my age.  Nevertheless,  I treated her with respect and always enjoyed working with her.  When asked,  I offered to give her some much-needed insights,  without knowing that she is now in a position to help me make money.

Of course,  we all dream of meeting a powerful person who will miraculously agree to become our sponsor and shepherd us into a fabulous career.  That happens for some people,  but it has yet to happen to me.  For example,  for more than a decade I regularly attended Mass and sat at coffee hour with a very wealthy and well-connected lady who frequently discussed the professional success she had had before her retirement.

The lady was well aware of my need for clients and yet she never lifted a finger to help.  She who had never walked through a door that was not opened for her,  deliberately withheld from me.  Yet,  she never failed to enlist my help with her Sunday amusement—the New York Times crossword puzzle.  It is interesting,  because she sought me out for conversation and volunteered information about her career and connections.  I should have been golden.  Oh, well.

But how does one network successfully at the top of the organizational chart?  As detailed above,  interacting with someone who is inclined to respect you is rule #1.  Remaining aware of the difference in power and status is rule #2.  Understanding how you can be a valuable asset to an individual who has many resources and most likely doesn’t need anything from you is rule #3 and effectively communicating to Mr. or Ms. High-and-Mighty whatever value proposition that you think might be appreciated is rule #4.

There are no hard-and-fast rules for networking up the food chain,  but despite my fruitless experience,  which I will say is unusual,  networking with the higher-ups is best done at volunteer board meetings,  houses of worship,  at the fitness center,  or in other non-work related venues.  There are many people tugging at the sleeves of the well-connected.  It’s probably best to get to know them in a social situation that facilitates participating in a shared experience that can lead to organic relationship-building.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

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A Sponsor To Propel You Forward

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At almost every stage in life we can benefit from a mentor,  a special friend who has walked the road ahead of us and is willing to help us along by suggesting strategies for creating a successful journey,  choosing an alternate path,  or overcoming roadblocks.  Mentors encourage us,  challenge us,  guide and advise us.  They help us to recognize and evaluate career opportunities and consider the likely outcomes and consequences of our choices.

But when it’s time to move forward on goals,  one needs a different kind of relationship.  To shift into execution mode one needs a super-mentor,  a sponsor,  a well-connected advocate who believes in you and your potential.  Sponsors are influential and powerful people who have the clout to open doors,   make connections and recommend you for plum assignments and promotions.  They take an interest in you and your career,  but their chief role is to develop you as a leader,  a leader who will become an ally.  A sponsor sees furthering your professional success as a way to further their own and to give themselves bragging rights when you succeed.  Mentors prepare you to make a move; sponsors make it possible for you to realize your goals.

When considering who might make a good sponsor for you,  do not look for a role model to admire and emulate.  Look instead for a powerfully positioned rainmaker.  You seek not so much a friend,  as an ally.  Next,  make a brutally honest calculation of the value-added you can offer to your prospective sponsor.  Very rarely will a sponsor go out on a limb and call in favors to advance the cause of another without a powerful incentive,  which can be acting as the backer of someone who shows the ability to climb to the top.  This is a quid pro quo strategic alliance.  To attract a sponsor to open doors for you,  make that individual proud to be affiliated with you.  Exceed expectations,  meet deadlines,  hit a home run every time.  Furthermore,  you must be unfailingly loyal to your sponsor.  When he/she needs backup,   you are the first to stand up and deliver the ROI.

Where might a Freelance consultant find a sponsor?  Network in places where powerful people congregate.   Get involved with activities and work yourself up to earning a leadership role,  where your prospective sponsor can witness your enterprising ways,  ability to motivate and work with a team and ability to get things done.  A not-for-profit organization board,  fitness center or yoga studio,  or place of worship are all good networking venues.

Separate yourself from the pack by honing your communication skills.  Learn to excel in verbal communications,  interpersonal relationships and rapport building;  give excellent presentations;  sharpen your writing skills;  show empathy,  good humor and a willingness to collaborate.  People think that those who communicate exceptionally well are good leaders and smart (whether or not that is the case).  When you’ve identified prospective sponsors (there can be more than one),  work on developing a relationship and allow it to grow organically.

Time will be involved and much will depend upon mutual trust that develops and the boundaries of your prospect.  The clock may be ticking on your plans,  but if you are perceived as pushy,  the relationship will be lost forever.  What you want are opportunities to talk,  so you can let this individual know what you’d like to do.  You can even state that you’re looking for help.  The prospect will either offer the help,  or will not.  If that person does not come through,  either he/she has no influence in that realm,  or would rather not risk extending it to you.  Your prospective sponsor either values you or does not.

Tribalism matters.  Mentors and sponsors tend to bond with those who remind them of themselves and relationships often form within gender,  racial,  ethnic or religious categories.  Your communication skills,  when honed as advised above,  may help you to transcend boundaries.   Also,  in our increasingly global society,  your sponsor may decide that diversity will be advantageous when cultivating allies.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

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Power and Success

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Powerful people achieve success.  They are able to create opportunities that lead to success,  or they have opportunities to create success handed to them.  Power can emanate from several sources,  most famously from money and family connections.  Power also emanates from various other sources,  such as athletic ability (football hero);  musical ability (rock star);  intellect (IQ, intelligence quotient) that allows one to earn a degree from a prestigious school;  and relationships (EQ, emotional quotient / EI emotional intelligence) with powerful and influential people.  All of these power sources can be leveraged and used to propel oneself into environments where opportunities to create success are available.

For the majority of us power,  should we seek to pursue it (and most do not),  is an attribute that we develop on our own,  knowingly or unknowingly,  with or without intention and the EQ-based power that emanates from relationships is the power that is most accessible.   This variety of personal power is derived through the way we interact with others in personal and professional relationships.  To acquire this power,  one must be competent and trustworthy.   Additionally,  it is imperative to relate to others in a way that makes those who know you feel valued and good about themselves.  Those who acquire personal power through their relationships must be authentic,  or do an excellent job of convincing others that this is the case.  Powerful people inspire great loyalty and respect.

Personal power is an integral building block of leadership ability.  It can be argued that the wherewithal to develop personal power derives from the capacity to lead oneself.  Improving the ability to develop and sustain relationships by heightening EQ expertise helps one open doors that lead to opportunities that help us achieve success in business and life.  Here are guidelines that can serve as your EQ training regimen.  They were developed by Daniel Goleman,  author of Emotional Intelligence  (1995)  and based on the work of John Mayer,  personality psychologist at the University of New Hampshire and Peter Salovey,  social psychologist and president of Yale University:

I.      Self-awareness

The ability  (or courage)  to recognize and acknowledge one’s emotions,  motivations,  fears,  strengths and weaknesses and to understand the impact these have on our decision-making and interactions with others.  Accurate self-assessment and self-confidence are    required to master this element.

II.    Self-management

The ability  (or self-discipline)  to regulate,  control,  or redirect one’s disruptive  (read irrational,  inappropriate or destructive)  emotions or behaviors and successfully adapting to changing circumstances are the essential skills here.  This is not to say that one should knuckle under to adversity.  Just don’t throw any chairs.  Learn to fight back in a smart way that reflects well on you.  When necessary be flexible,  gracefully roll with the punches,  or devise Plan B.  Honesty,  integrity,  follow-through,  time management,  initiative and ambition reside in this element.

III.   Relationship management

Building bonds,  teamwork,  collaboration,  conflict management and social skills are the focus.  Those all-important interpersonal skills that allow us to relate to and connect with people are nurtured in this element,  as is leadership ability.  To strengthen these behaviors,  pay attention to feedback from others,   positive and negative.  Have the good judgment and maturity to display more of those behaviors that elicit positive feedback and much less of behaviors that generate unflattering comments.  Realize that there is such a thing as constructive criticism and avoid getting defensive and hostile when someone lets you know that perhaps you could have handled something another way.  Furthermore,  as painful as it might be,  listen also and check yourself when haters pounce,  for there might be a grain of truth in the venom they spew.

IV.   Empathy

EQ does not exist without genuine empathy.  Demonstrate that the feelings of others matter to you by be willing to consider the impact of your actions and decisions on others.  Think of intent vs. impact.  Challenge yourself to imagine how it might feel to be in the other person’s shoes and see the situation from another perspective.   Learn to take steps to hear and address the concerns of others.  Master this element and you’ll become a more successful negotiator.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

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The Unwritten Rules of the Business Christmas Party

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It’s countdown to Christmas and you may have already been to two or three parties by the time this post is published.  I will have been to three and one was at a business association.  I had a nice time.  I met a few people,  found out a few things about what is on the horizon for the association and got to know the president a little better.

In other words,  the Christmas party went as planned.  When attending a business Christmas party,  plan is the operative word.  Whether the party is hosted by your company,  a client,  or a business or professional association,  relax and enjoy the event,  but remember that you are at work.  Focus less on revelry and more on building or renewing relationships.

Always remember that you are being watched and evaluated,  because Christmas parties have a long-standing reputation of providing a stage for outrageous behavior.  Assume that those in attendance are waiting for someone to obviously over-indulge on alcohol,  or maybe slip out of the door with someone other than her husband.  Walk in the door making a good impression by following the requested dress code.  When none is specified,  wear whatever business attire means in that organization.

Create an agenda for the business Christmas parties you attend and polish your elevator pitch.  Besides chatting with your contact at the organization  (or your boss,  if you are an employee),  make a list of two or three other presumptive party guests that you would like to speak with,  whether or not you’ve met them,  and questions you’d like to ask.  However,  do not try to consummate a deal at the party.  Aim to set up a time to follow-up at a later date.

Because alcohol is inevitably involved,  it’s best to implement your action plan while everyone is relatively sober.  Arrive early.  Get your introductions made and have important conversations as early as possible.  Have maximum one alcoholic beverage and then drink mineral water with a slice of lime or lemon,  so that it looks as if you are having a cocktail,  to prevent yourself from drinking too much.  Leave sort of early.

Along with your must-meet list,  extend yourself and meet others.  When you see someone standing alone,  walk up and introduce yourself.  Start a conversation by asking if they come to this party regularly.  Meeting and greeting are the essence of every party.

When Christmas party invitations arrive,  recognize them for their potential networking value.  Think of a business Christmas party like a conference that doesn’t have presentations,  where you can meet or maybe reconnect with colleagues,  meet a new strategic partner or clients.  Yet do not make the mistake of talking too much business at the party.  Career coach Kathleen Brady,  owner of Brady and Associates Career Planners,  advises that  at the party  “You’re trying to create on-ramps to build new relationships.”  Now go have a good time!

Thanks for reading,

Kim

Sales , , , , 1 Comment

Perfect Pitch

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“The goal of networking is not to gather sales leads,  but to start business relationships and that begins with a conversation and not a sales pitch”,  asserts presentation and communications coach and author of The Anti-Elevator Speech (2009),  Cliff Sutttle.  Whether you’re at the Rotary Club lunch,  the gym or your second cousin’s third wedding,  eventually someone will ask what you do for a living.  For Freelance consultants and business owners,  a well-crafted elevator pitch is your answer.

The original idea behind the elevator pitch was to have something to say about your business to a potential customer whom you met by chance.  Presumably,  the two of you would be in an elevator and you would have about one minute to tell your story.

An appropriate elevator pitch presents you and your business offering in a casual,  socially acceptable manner.  To use your elevator pitch as a sales pitch is always wrong.  Someone whom you’ve just met is not a candidate for a sales pitch.  Delivering a sales pitch when you should deliver an elevator pitch will soon make you a social pariah.

While it is true that a Freelance consultant or business owner must constantly seek out potential customers,  it is important to first,  verify that one is speaking to a potential customer and not to someone making polite conversation and two,  communicate in a manner that is not perceived as selling.  Focus instead on solving a need and building a relationship and formulate an elevator pitch with a style and substance to communicate that.

The right elevator pitch will open doors for you,  business or social.  Your elevator pitch is a verbal business card.  It introduces you and your business to those who inquire.  Follow these steps and create one that works for you:

!.  The Hook

Cliff Suttle recommends that you give a short,  accurate-yet-vague statement of the ultimate benefit of your product or service.  A financial planner might say that he/she helps clients sleep well at night.  A web designer might say that he/she makes sure that potential customers get answers to their questions about your business.   A marketing consultant might say he/she builds communication links between the business and its customers.   After the hook is given,  say no more.  If the questioner wants to know what you mean,  then there will be a follow-up question.

Sales and marketing guru Geoffrey James,  author of the soon-to-be-published book Business Without the Bulls**t,  recommends that in the hook,  position your firm in one sentence that describes who you are and the primary service you provide,  with a focus on benefits and outcomes.  One who facilitates business strategy meetings might say  “In a one-day session,  I get my clients to reach consensus on pursuing a half-dozen relevant and achievable business goals that are guaranteed to deliver measurable results.”  If the questioner asks how you do that,  then proceed to Step 2.

2.  Differentiate

Defend the claim you made in Step 1 and give two or three reasons that show how your services are superior to competitors’.  Years of experience, marquee clients,  a special proprietary system or patented methodology or scientific data published in credible journals are how you make your case.  Client testimonials on your website or LinkedIn page add credibility to your claim.

3.  Conversation

If your questioner continues to show interest,  he/she may just be nosy,  may be a competitor trying to get information on how you do business,  or may be a genuinely interested prospect or referral source.  You won’t solve the mystery until you get that person talking.  When you ask if your area of expertise happens to be a concern at his/her company,  or note that he/she sounds as if they’ve encountered this situation before and inquire as to how it is being handled now,  the answer will reveal true motives.

4.  Meeting

If it makes sense to continue the conversation,  then ask your questioner for an opportunity to meet and continue what has been started.  If your questioner turned prospect  suddenly seems hesitant,  then ask  what less than optimal previous experience gives him pause, or what you can provide to ease his/her mind.  If your newest prospect seems enthusiastic, then ask how to get on his/her calendar and the preferred mode of contact and time to reach out.  You’ll be on your way to building a profitable business relationship.

Thanks for writing,

Kim

Marketing , , 2 Comments

Holiday Greetings!

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Freelancers know that our business is only as good as our relationships and our relationships are our responsibility to cultivate and nurture.  One of the ways we do this is by sending December holiday cards to clients.  Show appreciation for the business you’ve been awarded and make this small,  yet important,  gesture that is a good relationship building block. 

Sending physical holiday cards,  as opposed to email greetings or e-cards,  demonstrates that you are a gracious and thoughtful professional,  willing to take the time to properly acknowledge and thank your clients at this special time of year.   When you send to your clients a genuine holiday card,   it shows that you understand and respect business etiquette.  Sending  holiday greeting cards is good for business relationships and for business.

 Holiday cards are an inexpensive and effective marketing tool.  They don’t take much time to write.  Your clients will be flattered to receive one from you.  Many business owners and Freelance consultants do not send December greetings to their clients any more  (or if ever),  so when you make the effort to send the card,  you communicate an important statement about who you are and your approach to doing business.  Sending holiday cards helps to distinguish you from competitors,  guards against your being viewed as just another vendor,  enhances your brand and shows clients that you value them.

When shopping for your card,  take special care to select one that will represent you well and will leave the desired impression with the client.  Because it is possible that you’ll have on your list clients who are neither Christian nor particularly religious,  avoid cards that depict a nativity scene or other Christian imagery,  or cards that contain a religious message. 

Scenes of winter or Poinsettias (for example),  with  “Seasons greetings”  or  “Happy holidays” printed within is the business-appropriate choice.  Spend the money to buy a good quality (but not lavish) card.  A small and tasteful card will be perfect.  Expect to pay about $20.00 for a box of 8 cards.

Next,  consider who should receive a card.  Along with current clients,  you’ll also include any clients you’ve worked with during the year.   I send cards to all clients I’ve worked with over the past five years,  as a way to keep my name in front them and remind them that they have not dropped off of my  radar screen.  Later in the new year,  when they’re thinking of whom to call for a project,  I want my name at top-of-mind,  if possible.  BTW,  it’s good to verify that clients from the past are still in the same posts,  so a visit to the organization website or call to the main switchboard will save you from wasting a card.

If you are a very organized Freelancer and had the foresight to order holiday cards printed with your name and business name back in November  (unlike your Diarist),  personally sign your name to the card anyway and write a brief handwritten message.  Along those lines,  do not use pre-printed address labels.  Keep the personal touch going by handwriting the client’s name and address on the envelope.  Verify job titles and always use honorific titles  (Mr. or Ms.).

Lastly,  get your cards stamped (no religious stamps,  use holiday stamps if available)  and to the post office no later than December 15.

‘Tis the season,

Kim

Administrative , , 2 Comments

Power Lunch Etiquette

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When establishing a relationship with a new or prospective client,  or sorting through a big and important project,  stepping away from electronic forms of communication and choosing to arrange an old-school  face to face meeting is the the most practical route.  So many vibes and nuances require that the parties be in the room together.   Inviting a client to leave the office for an hour or so,  away from various distractions,  is a smart move that will pay many dividends.  Lunch with a current or prospective client,  or with a colleague you’d like to know better  is invariably more productive and pleasurable than an office meeting.

I use here the example of  lunch,  but your client’s schedule may indicate that a breakfast meeting or afternoon coffee will be preferable.  If getting the client out of the office proves impossible,  offer to bring breakfast or lunch to the office.  It ‘s not ideal,  but I’ve found that a little food makes for a more relaxed meeting that sets the stage for candid conversations and relationship building.

Power lunch etiquette begins before the two of you sit down to eat.  It starts with the invitation.  When it is extended,  suggest two or three restaurants with good reputations that are convenient to the client’s office.  Welcome suggestions from your guest.  You’ll select the client’s choice of restaurant,  of course,  and remember to compliment his/her choice.  Visit the website,  peruse the menu and make a reservation if required.

Be sensitive to your client’s dietary requirements and preferences.  Whether or not there is a medical reason,  many people  (especially in the Northeast and the West Coast)  are following vegetarian,  gluten-free, vegan,  raw, etc. diets.  “As the host,  it is your responsibility to ensure that your client’s experience is pleasurable”, says etiquette expert Tina Hayes.  “Pay attention to details”.

Confirm the meeting time and place with your client/guest and the reservation with the restaurant the day before.  Exchange cell phone numbers in case one of you is delayed.  You will arrive at the restaurant 10-15 minutes early and give your credit card info to the host and request a quiet table that is suitable for talking business. Then wait in the reception area.  When your guest arrives, turn off your phone so that you won’t be interrupted.

As a general rule,  it is inadvisable to immediately plunge into a business discussion as soon as your guest arrives.  Be prepared to make small-talk and have a couple of non-business topic sready,  to allow both of you to relax and get to know each other in a different context  (avoid politics or any other potentially controversial topics).  Let your guest know that it’s OK to order a drink if he/she likes and if you’re meeting on a Friday,  that just may happen.  If your guest orders a drink,  you may also order one.  If your guest abstains,  you do the same.

Wait until the meal has been ordered and beverages have been served before easing into the business talk.  Focus the conversation around your guest and give him/her a chance to open up.  Do that by asking about business,  projects that are in progress,  what’s on the drawingboard for the future.  then inquire as to how you can help and what needs must be urgently met.

Be mindful that you must pace the discussion and be respectful of your guest’s time.  Plan on 75-90 minutes for the average business lunch and 45-60 minutes for breakfast or coffee meetings.  When finished, express your appreciation for the client’s time.  Send a written thank you note (not an email).

Thanks for reading,

Kim

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Evaluate Your Network

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Effective networking is a cornerstone of any flourishing business enterprise.  Who you know and who knows you makes all the difference in business success.  It’s a good idea to periodically evaluate the quality of our professional network.  The first step in this process is actually strategy planning.  What do you want your business to look like in 18-24 months?  What do you need to do,  who do you need to know and who needs to know you so that you will achieve your goals?

Next,  think about your professional network.  Does it appear that tapping into existing relationships will help you realize business goals?  Take stock also of your personal relationships.  Which are deserving of your time and energy and which should be put out to pasture? Might it make sense to add a business dimension to a social or family relationship,  or add a social dimension to a business relationship that no longer pays professional dividends,  but you feel is worth maintaining nonetheless?  You may find that some pruning, reconfiguring and strategic additions are in order.  Read on and get some inspiration to start the process:

What have they done before and what are they doing now?  What is the person’s record of achievements? Is that person continuing to move forward?  If one is not growing,  then one is falling behind.  The value of  a given relationship will  depend upon your resources,  industry and goals.  Look to strengthen and develop relationships with those who can open doors and share relevant information.  Because relationships are a two-way street,  think also of the value that you bring to relationships.  Do you come through when you should?

What is the reach?  When possible,  cultivate relationships with those who have an understanding of and influence in your industry or field of expertise,  or with potential clients who can be referred.  Someone who can refer you to teaching and speaking engagements that will build you CV and bank account will also be very helpful.

Do they have a positive and progressive attitude?  Surround yourself with smart,  positive,  forward-thinking people,  socially and professionally.  Divest your network of haters and slackers.

Do they like to collaborate?  If you see an opportunity to team up and set in motion a mutual win-win,   you’ll need to take the idea to someone who will be open to exploring reasonable options.  We all need to have in our networks savvy and creative people who see the big picture and are willing to keep ego in check in order to accomplish something bigger than either could do alone.

Are they responsive?  Folks must be willing to return calls and emails within a couple of days or so,   barring an emergency,  deadline or  vacation.  When you invest the time and energy to build a relationship,  you want to know that efforts at communication will be respected.   No matter how awesome someone is,  they are of no use to you if they ignore you when you reach out.  If they don’t get back,  then you know you’re not valued.

Thanks for reading,

Kim