Emotional Intelligence is the capacity to recognize and respect not only how you feel, but also how those with whom you interact feel. Emotional Intelligence also helps you to manage your emotions effectively, both in your inner life and in your relationships. Alternately known as EQ and often portrayed as a qualitative, subjective yin (female) counterpart to the data-driven, measurable and objective yang (masculine) IQ, EI entails more than displaying empathy and being kind, or “sensitive.”

Ongoing research has presented credible evidence that supports EI as a different, but nevertheless valid and beneficial, form of human intelligence. Psychologists, organizational development specialists and leadership development coaches recognize EI as a core life skill that promotes one’s ability to deliver excellent performances, particularly in the domain of leadership. There is no absolutist blueprint, or model, that codifies EI, but there are variations on a standard theme that have been developed primarily by psychologists and organizational behavior specialists. I recently discovered the work of Emotional Intelligence researchers Daniel Goleman and Richard Boyatzis.

Goleman has written extensively on the topic of EI. He is co-director of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations at Rutgers University in Newark, NJ and he is the author of Building Blocks of Emotional Intelligence (2017) a 12-primer set on each of the EI competencies that he co-discovered. He also offers training on those competencies through an online learning platform. Boyatzis is a professor in the departments of Organizational Behavior, Psychology and Cognitive Science at the Weatherhead School of Management at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, OH and he’s been recognized as a Distinguished University Professor there. He is a co-founder of the Coaching Research Lab and co-author of Helping People Change (2019). According to Goleman and Boyatzis those who aspire to become exceptional leaders will need to develop a balance of strengths across the suite of EI competencies. When that is achieved, outstanding business results will follow.

Goleman and Boyatzis see as EI consisting of four domains—Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness and Relationship Management—and connected to each domain are 12 EI competencies. When you’ve mastered the domains and the competencies associated with each category, you will possess capabilities that allow you to be an adept at team player or a practitioner of inspirational leadership, as the situation requires. Below is a capsule view of the domains and the related competencies.

Self-Awareness

This domain refers to the ability to read and understand your emotions as well as recognize their impact on others. In short, self-awareness is a basic understanding of how we feel and why we feel that way. The more we are aware of our feelings, the easier it becomes to manage our feelings and control how we might respond to others.

Those who have nurtured their EI capabilities achieve objectivity through the self-awareness that this form of intelligence develops. Leaders who have developed a high level of EI promote productive and motivated workplaces that give all workers equal opportunities to shine.

• Emotional self-awareness: I know what I am doing and why
• Accurate self-assessment: I am cognizant of my beliefs and mental models
• Self-confidence: I am aware of my abilities, including strengths and weaknesses. I trust my judgment and have a sense of control in my life. I set realistic expectations and goals, communicate assertively and can handle criticism.

Self-management

Also known as self-regulation, this domain can be defined as the ability to manage one’s actions, thoughts and feelings in flexible way, in order to produce the desired results. Optimal self-management contributes to a sense of well-being, a sense of self-efficacy or confidence and a sense of connection to others. You are able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, express your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments and adapt to changing circumstances.

• Emotional Self-Control: You are able to keep potentially disruptive emotions and impulses in check and maintain your effectiveness under stressful or hostile conditions.
• Achievement Orientation: You intend to meet or exceed a standard of excellence. You seek ways to do things better and improve outcome. You reasonably challenging goals and take calculated risks.
• Positive Outlook: You are able to see the positive qualities and characteristics in people, situations, and events. You persist in pursuing goals, despite obstacles and setbacks.
• Adaptability: You have the flexibility to handle change and juggle multiple demands, as you adapt your ideas or approaches to new and unexpected circumstances.

Social Awareness

Social Awareness is the ability to accurately notice the emotions of others and “read” situations appropriately. It is about sensing what other people are thinking and feeling, to be able to take their perspective using your capacity for empathy. Those adept in the qualities of this domain are able to read another person’s face, voice, body language and other verbal or nonverbal cues that communicate emotion and help direct us as to how we should speak and otherwise interact with that individual.

• Empathy: The ability to sense others’ feelings and perspectives, take an active interest in their concerns and recognize cues about what others may feel and think. Goleman further describes empathy as the cognitive and emotional processes that bind people together in various kinds of relationships that permit sharing experiences as well as understanding of others.
• Organizational Awareness: The ability to read a group’s emotional currents and power relationships, identifying influencers, networks, and organizational dynamics.

Relationship Management

This domain pulls together and integrates the other three domains and creates the final product, relationship management. Relationship management can be used to influence those around us and guide or encourage them to make good decisions. You can sense other’s reactions to situations and then fine-tune a response to move the interaction in a positive direction.

Relationship management proficiency also addresses teamwork and other collaborations.
You’ve learned to use the skills acquired in the other domains to steer the group toward
the goal. Furthermore, proficiency in relationship management promotes the ability to effectively manage conflict. Those who become particularly adept in this area can see that conflict is forming and take steps to move others away from this and toward more positive interactions. Effective Listening skills and empathy are essential to deal with these difficult conversations.

• Influence: The ability to have a positive impact on others, to persuade and convince others in order to gain their support.
• Coach and Mentor: The ability to foster the long-term learning or development of others by giving feedback, guidance, and support.
• Conflict Management: The ability to help others through emotional or tense situations, tactfully bringing disagreements into the open and finding solutions all can endorse.
• Inspirational Leadership: The ability to inspire and guide individuals and groups towards a meaningful vision of excellence, and to bring out the best in others.
• Teamwork: The ability to work with others towards a shared goal; participating actively, sharing responsibility and rewards, and contributing to the capability of the team.

You can evaluate and improve your EI skills. Goleman and Boyatzkis recommend a 360-degree assessment, to receive systematic, objective observations of your behavior by people who work with you. Incidentally, EI has been found to not correlate well with IQ or personality traits, but the two values are the best predictors of a leader’s effectiveness, actual business performance, engagement, professional and personal satisfaction. A 360-degree assessment tool that uses ratings generated by you and those who know you well can reveal your EI current strengths and suggest where your EI needs improvement. To best improve your weak spots, find a leadership development expert to coach you.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

Image: Philadelphia Flyers coach John Tortorella